How the hell do I snap out of this? I started a text arurement wtih my husband today while he was at work! What if he had fell off one of the power poles he climbs or been driving, and?....You get the picture. My daughter is still bed wetting nad I am so down I have let my routines be lost to a messy home.
Today I have cried myself into a headache.. My predictable easy days have been relpaced by chaos. I am swearing off the internet and getting off my sorry ass. Time to change my life. I am not going down this road of CHAOS. But then it hits me, no one will ever see it and I never get away from it and it will happen again so why bother? For half my calm self back that is why. I want to make a challenge out of this. Lets post our morning routine and give a titme we would like to have it finished by and for the next week till Friday we will work on that! So here goes since it is 1:40 p.m and I am at the end of my morning list tomorrow my goal will be to be finished with it by 1p.m. and then I will move up from there and then when I can complete it by 10a.m. I will add in the rest...
Don't get me wrong, the kids will still bath, and dinner will be cooked. But I will not keep this up. I am also going to start standing up for what I need in this relationship with my husband.. I am not his mom or anyone else he wants to compare me to. I am ME and damn it, I will start meeting some of my own life goals! I just don't know if we will make it through this.... We are so close and agree on so many things but in the major life decissions we are both at different places with different goals and dreams. How can I make it work so we stay together and not be misserable?
UPDATE: I am also frustrated on how a 4 yr old with a good track record of dry nights suddenly goes beserk she wet her bed the couch and recliner last night. MY washer is getting used if nothing else. I believe it is a case of jealous and her dad and I having so much trouble right now. Hope life does a 180 soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment